Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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