so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
