i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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