hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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