so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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