you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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