The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize