I want to have your abortion
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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