I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
