She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
