I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
