thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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