I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
