Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
