why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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