I skipped work to stalk him.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
