i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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