you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
