I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
