He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
