Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
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