Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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