i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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