He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I smell like Dick and happiness
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize