do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
