She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
