In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
