Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
