i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize