pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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