Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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