i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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