Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
