my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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