im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
