U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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