She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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