did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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