I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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