census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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