That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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