I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
as a side note pls kill me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
