my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
