Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
