I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
