as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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