You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
