Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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