party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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