i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
