I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
