Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
