ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
