Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
