dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
