Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
