Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
