I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
