btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
