All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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